The life and times of Australia's "Nullarbor Kid". True stories from his past.

"COVER GIRL "  (Episode)

Adelaide the capital City of South Australia had the General Motors plant and the Chrysler factory, a return trip of 2,000 miles from Sydney twice the distance of the Sydney Melbourne run.

Now I only went to Adelaide from Sydney a few times with Cover Girl and the last time was enough drama not to go back.

In those days Adelaide was known as the city of churches. I might add that for every corner, and there were many, that had a church, it was said the other corner had a pub.

I had loaded Dodge cars from Chrysler the day before, had a comfortable sleep at The Kings Way Hotel. (This was where a few years later I picked up a load of beer to run 'hot' to Sydney. "The Bootlegger from Botany Bay". (But that's another story.)

It was early morning, as I wanted to get away before all the traffic.

I stopped briefly; well I thought it was going to be brief, outside a little corner grocery shop, to buy some soft drink before I took off for the climb over the Lofty Ranges. The shop was only a few blocks from the city centre.

Back in those days the grocer man opened his doors early hoping for the odd customer while he prepared things for the day. For instance, from the large sack of sugar he would weigh and put in brown paper bags 1 lb of sugar, and with large wooden paddles scoop butter from the bulk box and wrap in 1 lb square paper packets and so on .Always at the end of his wooden counter would be a large roll of brown paper on a stand ready to tear the required length off to wrap the customers purchases.

There were very little pre packet food and no super markets in those days.

It was just luck that I noticed the shop door open. As I said I pulled up to buy a bottle of soft drink. Off the shelf of course, there was no refrigeration in those days.

However as I stopped opposite the shop, around the corner marched a couple of Adelaide's finest, two police constables on the beat which was usual in those days.

I ignored them, entered the shop, bought my soft drink, talked briefly to the friendly but busy grocer then walked back across the road.

The two of them, again, Adelaide's finest, were looking at my pretty girl painted on both doors. I'm thinking "oh they like my darling" Wrong Ray, very wrong.

The cops swinging around toward me as I opened the door to put my drinks on the seat, the nearest Cop barks, "What's the meaning of this?" as they pointing to the door. "What? What do you mean?" I replied offhandedly "That is not a rude painting; she has a bathing suit on." I replied giving the door an affectionate wipe with the palm of my hand "Where I come from, that's just a drawing of a pretty girl, besides, that's the name of my truck...  "Cover Girl".

Now a little explanation is needed here for you younger readers.

In those bygone days there were very few magazines on sale. For the ladies there was "The Woman's Weekly, for the men, "Man" magazine. For the kid's comics, The "Man" magazine by today's standards would be rated "GP" it was very, very mild. Now it did have as the centre fold in each issue a redheaded girl talking on the telephone with mild suggestions. It would be laughed at today, and she was called Cover Girl and had been copied onto my truck doors. The policeman knew who she was alright.

 "You will have to remove it", or I'll book you, for indecency.

"You're joking... for WHAT?"

"I'm not joking, that is indecent"

"Look I'm leaving town, on the way out, I'm heading home".

"And where would that be, May I ask", he replied in a sarcastic voice. "Sydney"!

"I might have known" was the reply. "You are going no where till you remove that obscene painting off you door."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I looked at him then up and down the street sort of hoping something would happen for them to loose interest in me. With my luck it was deserted, just me and my darling, the centre of attention.

The other "upholder of the law" was wandering around giving the truck the once over.

I had a couple of tires not the best, so I thought I had better humour them. They were such a self important pair of twits and with nothing else to occupy their minds, I was it.

I had some black paint in the tool box for touching up the chassis but was damned if I was going to ruin the look of my truck and loose my lady love.

Fork lightening split the heavens as I had a brilliant idea. Well I thought it was brilliant.

The grocer man in the shop was very friendly so...

"Give me a couple of minutes and I'll have them covered up".

I ran across the road into the shop and blurted out "Quick can you sell me two large pieces of your brown wrapping paper, and a loan of your Pecks Paste for a couple of minutes"?

The grocer looked at me puzzled like. "Yeees...  Ok... what's the matter"?

"Come and watch this." I laughingly replied.

I ripped off two sheets of paper from the roll, large enough to cover the painted figure but not as wide as the door. Picked up the glue pot, beckoned with my head for the grocer to follow and ran back out of the shop across the road to the truck. The grocer followed me slowly with his large white apron on, a puzzled look on his face, still wondering what it was all about. I brushed the paste on to the door being careful to avoid the painted figure, and then slapped the brown paper on top being careful to push out all the wrinkles.

Did the other one... looked lovely... but no pretty girl.

Both doors showing a large brown paper patch.

"OK"? I said, palm outstretched to the two policemen standing watching me.

One mumbled to the other and they begrudgingly strolled off down the street without a backward glance. I thanked the grocery man who had been standing there amused by it all. I handed him a handful of coins, he nodded, smiled his thanks and wandered back over the street to the shop.

I jumped up in the cab and started the motor, had a swig of Lemonade and drove down the street, coming slowly up to the two marching figures.

I firmly laid my arm as far down the door as possible to stop the brown paper from blowing off, as it was already lifting at the front.

Then as I slowly came level with them the paper had then half peeled back over my arm flapping away like a large wing on a Mus covey duck. I gave them both a very big smile still grimly hanging on to the door. At this point the passenger door paper on the other side let go, sailed up in the air like a kite and went "splat" on the front Dodge windscreen, that was on the top deck. Four polished black shoes stopped walking. Two bodies swivelled towards me and two pair of eyes glared at me intently as I then lifted my arm into a salute then onto the steering wheel, purposely let the brown paper on my door peel off.

With a crackle and a swishing sound it sailed up in the air like a second kite and landed gently in the gutter just in front of where the law stood, quickly soaking up the dirty water.

And lo and behold there she was again for all to see, my darling, a pert and pretty red headed girl with a seductive smile talking on a telephone. The world was happier I'm sure and I went like h*** out of town. (Must not swear in Adelaide)

I hope my sordid little tale hasn't corrupted the morals of our young readers.

I passed through Adelaide with many different trucks in later years but to protect my lady love that was the last time Cover Girl and I ventured into the City of Churches.

From; "My Way on the Highway", Copyright 2005 Ray Gilleland

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